A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to take part in a First Aid Course. It's been a while since I've renewed my knowledge (ok probably around 10 years!) and if I'm honest, it is something that was fearing.
I don't know about you, but I don't particularly like feeling uncomfortable. I'll do anything to avoid it: distractions, false comforts, escapism, lies, excuses, and more. I think many of us are the same, it's our survival instinct. The problem is, feeling uncomfortable is what moves us forward.
I couldn't avoid this course, even though (transparency), I was truly hoping that I would end up having to move that day! Don't get me wrong, I think knowing First Aid is super important, and there are people who are still in my life thanks to quick thinking people who had the knowledge to keep them alive. It was more 'the course' bit that I felt uncomfortable with. Perhaps that is something though for me to work through before writing about.
I shouldn't have worried though, the course was actually very enjoyable and my colleagues kept it fun and quick-paced. Credit to our trainer too! It made me think about how often we build things up in our mind, to become more uncomfortable than needed. Sometimes we need to get on and do it anyway. Being uncomfortable is what moves us forward.
Currently, I am sitting on my sofa, I've been here a good hour, if not more. I am comfortable, and the longer I sit here, the harder it becomes to get up and do what I need to do: a workout! The more I sit, the less I want to do something that might make me uncomfortable for a time. Yet, I know that once I get going, I will enjoy it, and feel better!
Last week I was chatting to my youth mentor Jenni about making positive choices. She encouraged me to look at the difference between self-soothing and self-care. I realised that a lot of the time at the moment I am self-soothing. Now there is nothing wrong with this, but it has become my dominant time filler. In fact, it self care was vastly undernourished, and as I said to Jenni, I self soothe from the moment I get up, to the time I work, and from the moment I finish work, to the time I fall asleep. Jenni encouraged me to come up with a creative strategy that incorporated both self-soothing (because it is important) and self-care into my evenings in the run-up to Christmas. With the current situation - what a perfect time to explore this! I got onto it straight away, making Christmas decorations with prompts on them.
Jenni is a wonderful mentor and if you want to find out more about her then you can find her here or listen to us on the Contains Caffeine Podcast here
The difference it seems, between self-soothing and self-care, can be found in the uncomfortable. Self-soothing is about providing comfort in stressful times, for me that would be found in food, box sets, reading, and a glass of wine (amongst other items). Whilst these things provide a momentary distraction, many of them aren't a healthy option for regular delivery. Self-care, on the other hand, is an activity that supports your growth, and it can mean momentary discomfort. Examples for me would be exercise, therapy, boundary-making, cleaning! Jenni suggested that I make an intention to just do one of these things for 10 minutes. The truth is I'm sure she and I both know that once I've done 10 minutes, I'm past the discomfort and into the pleasure of knowing I've made a good decision. If after 10 minutes I'm still struggling, perhaps I need to ask myself if a little self-soothing is required.
Have you ever thought about the difference between the two? It is definitely a practice I am going to think about more and take into 2022! - L
Comments