Take time, slow down, you don't need all the answers now, just know that you'll be fine
Holly by Lydia Evangeline
Peace By Piece
Around November time I was doom scrolling through Instagram Stories and paused for a moment on an IGTV that one of my friends had shared. I clicked, and I was taken in by this singer-songwriter attempting to write a Christmas song in 20 mins. Moments later, I was clicking follow, and following her weekly 20-minute songwriting sagas!
Recently I found myself listening to more of Lydia Evangeline, and this line and this song began to find themselves on repeat.
Peace By Perspective
I feel I need to document something, because I'm holding on to the idea that Father is taking me on an adventure, and all the best adventures are written up! Like any big adventure, I only have glimpses of what might be ahead (if there is anything), and there's this part of me that gets excited and this other part of me that is hopeful but both awaken the voice of fear and doubt. I think, if I shape this as an adventure, the voice of hope might be louder.
In my own life, I am not good with journey, the unknown, but the last two years have taught me that I am securely held, whatever, and I don't need all the answers now - just know I will be fine. Oddly though I do love me an actual adventure, so again a reframing might be good.
Peace By Promises
I feel like I have pushed on a few significant doors lately; pet-owning, job applications, even a little foray into roller skating(!). So far, the doors have not stayed open for long, or in some cases not opened at all.
This door has appeared on the horizon a few times, but every time I have moved towards it, it has moved further back into the horizon. The odd times I have reached it, I've placed my hand on it, and I'm not sure if it is fear of what is behind it or the strength of its hold, but it hasn't opened. Probably it is both, and a reassuring touch of something more.
But this time, I feel as if something has changed.
and I am both hopeful and fearful. I'm scared of it starting something I can't come back from. What if I get it wrong? What if I get lost and can't return? What if I fall?
and every time, God has reminded me of his promises. Remember the promises.
Peace By Wisdom
I never thought I would buy a house as a single person, let alone move into a bigger place, still single. This door has opened a little, and this time instead of pulling it shut, the hopeful part of me is excited to get a glimpse of the view. I've grabbed a map, and a backpack and I'm waiting to see, how far the door will open.
Then I look around, and I realise, it's just me here. The loneliness rises and the fear speaks. I remind myself of some wise counsel I have recently received, to allow this. Decision-making, when you are single, is hard, it takes energy, and it all ends with me. I can and do get great advice from family, friends, professionals but at the end of it, it's me making that choice. For some people, I realise this is a positive. I am taking wisdom from those who see it this way, but also allowing the emotions of fear, confusion, and disappointment to have their place.
Peace Beyond Me
So I am on an adventure, holding onto peace, reminding myself on adventures, wrong paths, strong emotions, and failed routes are ok. An adventure of learning to trust my decisions, His leading and care for me, and the people he has put around me.
For the truth is, I am not alone, I never have been, and that is a promise
So I am waiting, backpack on and snacks ready (obvs), hopeful, full of questions, a little scared, waiting until I feel his hand take mine, and the adventure begins...
I sat here at Café by the Creek making my first phone call to an estate agent.
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